Why is marriage a scary word? It’s the old Ball ‘N Chain some will say.
A great majority of romantic drama and comedy seem to focus on the dating or the prelude to marriage, the getting-to-know each other period. That’s where all the action and fun is.
I would say it’s a symptom of a cultural idea that marriage is when the fun in a relationship is over. Which kinda blows if that’s true.
So when I thought these thoughts I wondered, why? Maybe marriage can symbolize a loss of freedom, but if you ask me, when you’re spending the rest of your life with your best friend, that doesn’t strike me as a loss so much as a gain.
I’m not really interested in the idea of commitment right now so much as something else.
I personally like to imagine that a great majority of us see marriage as the end of the chase. The chase being the pursuit of someone extremely desirable. As near as I can tell, every human likes to chase or be chased. Maybe they, like myself, want both.
An old saying says something like, “The joy is in the journey, not the destination.”
Now a person is different from a thing. They’re not like a remote control plane that you want for Christmas and that you’ve been asking for ever since July. And when you finally unwrap your dream present, it’s not glorious moment you were expecting.
People aren’t remote control planes. Your significant other may not be a “perfect dream come true”, but it’s a lot harder to get bored of them.
So maybe I just need a change of perspective. So I’m trying this: The chase doesn’t end at marriage, it keeps going. Forever. I should always be trying to attract my crush, my girlfriend, my fiancee, my wife. I’ll be constantly changing and working on my character to catch the eye of the one who’s already caught mine. Even if the relationship is signed and sealed with a ring to match, I want to continue to compete with other males to prove that I am worth her time.
So there’s no end to it. That’s comforting to me. I always liked the idea of a never-ending story better than the happily-ever-after ones.
