Inventory: Music

I am 20 years old.

My dream is to the lead singer/songwriter in a band that is Anberlin, Our Lady Peace, Death Cab for Cutie, Circa Survive, Andy Mckee, Explosions in the Sky, Metric, Underoath, Damien Rice, Brand New, The Beatles and the Ataris all mashed into one brilliant, glorious sound.

I have only written 9 complete songs in those twenty years.

I have about two and a half books of ideas as well a mound of loose papers that I fancy someone like Beethoven would carry around.

I currently composing a rock opera/concept album, mostly in my head.

I've fallen asleep with my guitar more than once.

I've played my acoustic all over the house, including the roof.

In highschool, there was a time when I never left for home without 2 or 3 song tabs printed off from the library.

My musician's fantasy is that I'll be playing alone in a corner or room and right after playing a magnificent and impassioned piece that was improvised on the spot, I discover that my soon-to-be new best friend and/or a very attractive girl and/or a talent scout is listening and has fallen deeply in love with my talent and skill.

We then go on an adventure to secure the security video tape that recorded the improvised glory and use it as a ticket to a record deal in which the label doesn't interfere at all with my art because it is more important than making profits.

That last sentence is very recent to my fantasy.

It's easy for me to write music.

It's easy for me to write lyrics.

I don't want to attempt to put the two together for fear of not getting it right on the first try. Or losing a great idea by pairing the wrong lyric with the wrong melody or wrong chords.

I failed my last two music courses.

The last time I had guitar lessons, I stop going halfway through because I was afraid of my teacher's reaction when I didn't practice.

I have a channel on Youtube where I post acoustic covers. So far I have two: Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and From Yesterday by 30 Seconds To Mars. There's a Damien Rice cover waiting on my mac.

I bought a mac for use of GarageBand and I hardly ever use it.

I have played in praise teams for my church, youth group and school.

I have been in jazz ensemble and choir.

I have been in three bands: Limp Triskit, Flaccid Steel and Wandering Home.

The first's only purpose was for a group presentation at guitar recital.

The second was the name of our "band" in a highschool project video.

The third enjoyed a brief explosion of success and was one of the highlights of my life. We played only three shows.

I sent a demo to a scholarship committee and even though I didn't win, I still have their response and my demo.

I have played in El Salvador and the UK, and toured in Hong Kong with CTI.

I have played three solo shows in my life.

I want to sign to Woodwater Records in Florida. For obvious reasons.

I want to meet/tour with Stephen Christian, Anthony Green, Raine Maida, Conor Oberst, Ben Gibbard and Dallas Green.

And if I could go back in time... John Lennon, Jeff Buckley and Freddie Mercury.

The Fox Hunt

Why is marriage a scary word? It’s the old Ball ‘N Chain some will say.
A great majority of romantic drama and comedy seem to focus on the dating or the prelude to marriage, the getting-to-know each other period. That’s where all the action and fun is.
I would say it’s a symptom of a cultural idea that marriage is when the fun in a relationship is over. Which kinda blows if that’s true.
So when I thought these thoughts I wondered, why? Maybe marriage can symbolize a loss of freedom, but if you ask me, when you’re spending the rest of your life with your best friend, that doesn’t strike me as a loss so much as a gain.

I’m not really interested in the idea of commitment right now so much as something else.

I personally like to imagine that a great majority of us see marriage as the end of the chase. The chase being the pursuit of someone extremely desirable. As near as I can tell, every human likes to chase or be chased. Maybe they, like myself, want both.

An old saying says something like, “The joy is in the journey, not the destination.”

Now a person is different from a thing. They’re not like a remote control plane that you want for Christmas and that you’ve been asking for ever since July. And when you finally unwrap your dream present, it’s not glorious moment you were expecting.
People aren’t remote control planes. Your significant other may not be a “perfect dream come true”, but it’s a lot harder to get bored of them.

So maybe I just need a change of perspective. So I’m trying this: The chase doesn’t end at marriage, it keeps going. Forever. I should always be trying to attract my crush, my girlfriend, my fiancee, my wife. I’ll be constantly changing and working on my character to catch the eye of the one who’s already caught mine. Even if the relationship is signed and sealed with a ring to match, I want to continue to compete with other males to prove that I am worth her time.
So there’s no end to it. That’s comforting to me. I always liked the idea of a never-ending story better than the happily-ever-after ones.

Superman

Does Superman feel homesick when he touches Kryptonite?

I mean, it's a piece of his planet after all and if it makes him loses his physical powers, what else does it make him feel? On another level, does it feel good to have this concrete connection to his past and birthplace?

Something new to think about.